This Speech Is Free

In this country
we are whiter than powdered milk
or ash
or a splash of guano

In this country
we have never sold
arms down the river

In this country
no honour is ever cheaply bought

In this country
all of our secrets
are official
(and vice versa)

In this country
we are proud to pay
through a clean nose
for national lip service

In this country
we know when we've been Quangoed

In this country
we pass the test
the port
the buck
and the bung

In this country
money never changes hands
because we have a touch of class

Are there any liars in the audience?
Hands up, then!
You see? We own up
to a fault, and also up
to 80% of the wealth
In this country

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From Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

Michael Portillo told students at Southampton University that "Outside this country, the standards of public life are
way below what goes on in this country... Go to a number
of other countries,and you win contracts because your
cousin was a minister or because you have lined the
pocket of some public official".