Deflated couplets

When you are old and gray and full of sleep

You do not need to count the bloody sheep.

They also serve who only stand and wait,
But none of them's been left a tip to date.

I am the captain of my soul
But still I have to draw the dole.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings,
You've not been betting on an English innings.

Where ignorant armies clash by night,
You'll get some friendly fire, right?

From Send-Up