Stone Age

Me and the sabre-toothed tiger
Was out with the kids on a spree
I'd told them Behave
(Cause they'd drawn on the cave)
Or no mammoth sausage for tea

We shifted some dinosaur droppings
When Ug dug too deep with his flint:
We found very swift hips
Some oversized lips
And a copy of Aftermath (mint)

I may be a troglodyte hunter
Accustomed to grunt and to snort
But I swear by my quagga
This proves that Mick Jagger
Is older by far than we thought

[October 1998]

From Labour Pangs

Bill Wyman has made important archaeological discoveries on his East Anglian land, using metal detectors