Pledges
I will not sign the pledge because
I run a chicken tikka masala parlour.
I will not sign the pledge because
I have been vaccinated by MAFF.
I will not sign the pledge because
I wish to be spanked by Michael Ancram.
I will not sign the pledge because
I am pledged not to sign pledges.
I will not sign the pledge because
I am Portillo the Hun.
I will not sign the pledge because
I weigh my conscience in pounds and ounces.
I will not sign the pledge because
I do not know how to forge my signature.
I will not sign the pledge because
I am in a race with myself, and losing it.
[April 2001]