Sex And The Single Currency

Oh wow, I am hot for a florin,
Or a flash of some old-fashioned sterling:
I fancy an E-Day
Like baths in a bidet.
A tanner can keep my toes curling.

I'm frisky for feet, not for metres;
A clinch needs an inch, or a shilling.
The Euro, though handy,
Does not make me randy.
A rod, pole or perch is more thrilling.

Doctor Hague, this is vaguely exciting,
Repeat me that bushel-and-peck trick:
Your Emu, old Tony,
Doesn't tickle my yoni,
But my spine finds a pound-sign electric.



[February 2001]

From Make Mine a Double

Sex And The Single Currency

The Hagues were sexier than the Blairs, according to a poll of under-25s. Electronic implants can trigger orgasms,so a specialist had accidentally discovered.