Six Limericks for Paul Burrell
What service he offered to her!
No storage quite like it, they're sure:
Not only the jewels
And the letters from fools
But a matchless CD (Chris De Burgh).
*
He read from her personal psalter,
And knelt at her rail, at her altar -
How British the stock
Of her very own Rock!
(Could we not do a trade for Gibraltar?)
*
Blinded! And soft in the head!
A liar! Disloyal! Ill-bred!
It didn't feel fun
When Paul stared at the sun,
So he looked in the mirror instead.
*
"His is the ship we must scuttle!"
Cried Philip, as ever unsubtle.
"Be quiet," said Liz;
"And think of our biz:
One taught him oneself how to butle."
*
"Book him, and read him his rights,"
Said the CID copper in tights:
"I'm as hard as he's soft.
Go up to his loft?
Forget it, I'm frightened of heights."
*
Dark forces - Queen Bess meets her Porgy.
(That's Paulie, Di's Deputy Dawg. He
Had three-hour chin-wags
About all his bin-bags.
Till she sang "How much is that corgi?")
[November 2002]