I am the picture editor
My hands are never grubby
To clear my name
Of course I blame
The telephoto tubby

I am the great proprietor
A fine upstanding fatso
And I would pin
This shocking sin
Upon the paparazzo

I am a daily punter and
My mouth is full of butter
My views aren't news
And I accuse
The thumb upon the shutter

[August 1997]

From Labour Pangs

Princess Diana was killed in a car crash