When I'm Reading Meters


with apologies to George Formby

Now I go meter reading
To earn an honest perk -
For a sub-contractor
It is interesting work:
It's a perk that just suits me
A meter reader you would be
Unless you earned my salary
When I'm reading meters.

I like to lurk at window-sills
When pensioners are writing wills -
I've often seen them coo at bills
When I'm meter-reading.
In my profession I'll work hard
To satisfy my boss -
And if I mix your numbers up
I will not give a hoot.

Although the customers may squirm,
I add the totals therm by therm,
To pay the chap that runs the firm
When I'm reading meters.
My chairman may be deep in dung,
But front door bells are tills I've rung -
Two digits up improves his bung
When I'm reading meters.
The elderly may squint and frown,
And try to turn their fires down,
But I'm employed by Cedric Brown
When I'm reading meters.......

From Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

British Gas is to contract out meter reading.