Memoirs of a Nobody

I licked the hand that fed me
With the lather on my tongues.
I followed her. She led me
Up the greasy ladder's rungs.

I licked the hand that bade me
With a monumental slurp.
They betrayed her, they betrayed me.
What a silly little twerp.

Yes, I licked my lips and lavished
Every loving epithet
On my leader - oh she ravished
And she found me soaking wet.

I licked her hand (What? Trivia?
This is history laid bare!)
Is it oil or is it Nivea
Which glisters in my hair?

I licked her fingers lightly,
My saliva running free,
And it didn't seem unsightly
To a loyalist. Like me.

How I licked her peccadilloes
With the syrup of my kiss!
And she plumped me up like pillows.
It was heaven. It was bliss.

I licked my lady leader
Till I'd coated her in creams,
And I'm sure she will concede her
Approbation for my schemes.

I licked her like a lolly
On a finely polished stick.
When together, were we jolly?
We were frankly very thick.

Oh I licked her in elation
Through my brilliant career.
I'm devoted to the nation.
Life of service. Is that clear?


From Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

I wanted the public to see what it was like being one of Margaret's ministers. It was a very exciting time to be around. - Kenneth Baker